READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
