True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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