i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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