What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize