This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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