I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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