My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
