I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
