Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
