i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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