We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
