If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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