shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize