TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
