i would punch a child for taco bell
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Randomize
