she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Dicks are not precious.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
