dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
