My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Blood and glitter go together right?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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