Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
