I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
