So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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