Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
