you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
