But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
