too bad you live with your parents still
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
This is my life. Enjoy the view
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize