matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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