I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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