I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
