She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
