Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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