If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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