i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i was born a porn star she said
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
