He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
