If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize