so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
