you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize