Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize