Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
