i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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