I wish I could teleport
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
