i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize