That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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