try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
