we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
