Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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