Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
