i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
