I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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