I could have mohawked her pubes.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
