This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
