we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
