i don't plan on having that self control this summer
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
