didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
