garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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