Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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