why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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