Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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